Weird Day
Today was a weird day. It probably wouldn't register as a weird day for most people, but it was something different for me. Pretty much the whole first part of the day was crappy, per usual lately. Around four o'clock I had a weird thought. Somehow I rationalized that I have been treating the people around me the wrong way. I don't know why this hadn't dawned on me sooner, and it seems so damn illogical, but I have been holding people up to my own expectations. Like expecting people to be just like me...and if they weren't (which is always the case) I would find fault with them. It was weird when I thought of this and then ran down a list of people I know. Take my mother, for instance. I had always assumed that she was absolutely crazy. I took that thought into account whenever I interracted with her. Now I realize that she is just 'her'. That's it. She has different wants than I do and its not that crazy after all. The tables have turned and now I feel like I was crazy all along for not accepting this. Likewise, I had always thought that my brother was an idiot. Now I see that I was holding him up to my expectations for myself and he's just not smart in the same areas as me. I pretty much ran all my friends through this new mental formula and I figured out that some of what I percieved as their faults were really my own faults.
It felt pretty darn bad at first. Thinking about all the crappy ways I had thought about people and sometimes treated them because of it. Then I realized that there was a good side to this. I could fix this and be a better friend, son and brother.
So, I was walking up to the bus stop, happy in a way because it felt like I had solved a math problem or something. At the stop, on Central Row in Hartford, there is this guy on crutches with one leg. Everyday he works his way up and down the street asking for change. My lunch costs $4.85 a day so I give him the fifteen left-over cents everyday. Today he came up to me as usual and this time I was feeling so good I decided I would give him a five spot just to see him smile. I reached into my pocket to get what I thought was a $5, but turned out to be a $10. Totally gave it to him and it seemed to me like it made his day. Then he told me I had pretty eyes and I knocked him over. (Just kidding)
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You just realized what most people realize on their death bed. Now the hardest part is going to be maintaining that attitude.  (something I often fail to do) |
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Wow, Cavutto, helping a guy who's down on his luck. Good! Generous and flies kites. Amazing. |
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Well I am glad you came to this realization, now you have a huge duty to uphold it. Sometimes when I start to think that everyone around me is crazy, I tell myself to look at the common denominator of theses relationships with people and that's me!! |
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If more people could come to this realization the world would be a little better. Everybody's too busy blaming everyone else when they are the one's with the real problem. Relationships are a strange thing, not just romantic, but with friends, family, etc. People don't realize just how fragile they are and if you aren't willing to look at yourself before passing judgement it could seriously mess up something good! OK I think I've gotten off topic....congrats on your newfound perception, just be sure you stick to it!! |
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good for you for realizing this. you did what most people should do. you are now looking at the world through at different set of eyes. |
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So, I was walking up to the bus stop, happy in a way because it felt like I had solved a math problem or something. At the stop, on Central Row in Hartford, there is this guy on crutches with one leg. Everyday he works his way up and down the street asking for change. My lunch costs $4.85 a day so I give him the fifteen left-over cents everyday. Today he came up to me as usual and this time I was feeling so good I decided I would give him a five spot just to see him smile. I reached into my pocket to get what I thought was a $5, but turned out to be a $10. Totally gave it to him and it seemed to me like it made his day. Then he told me I had pretty eyes and I knocked him over. (Just kidding)
-that totally made my day. i needed a good laugh. marie |
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I disagree with my original feeling. Some people really are just idiots who consistently make mistakes, and seem almost consientious in failing to learn from them. |
