We're All Winners!

Hey yeah oh boy. It's Mother's Day so I want to dedicate this blog post to all the bitches in the house! I think its great that you can make new people...although I'm not really too keen on some of your work. I'm worried that when I eventually have consensual sex with a real girl, I will impregnate her with an inferior seed. Like what if that day there is a goddam retarded sperm at the front of the line? I really hope I don't get stuck with an asshole kid. I probably will though because I just jinxed myself. Maybe I should go knock on wood (pun intended). I would also like to take a minute to congratulate everybody who won the Great Sperm Race. Congratulations everbody! You're all winners! To all of you loser sperms...there is no next year! You are weak and probably gay.