A Quandry

Well, I'm in a bit of a quandry. No, I'm not. I'm gonna put this damnable blog to damnable use right now. I'm gonna think with it. This blog will help me decide the fate of the evening. Here's the deal. I'm hungry. I've got a man-sized hunger festering deep inside of me...near that place were my entrails touch the inside of my belly-button. So, blog, here's where you come into play. I have two options. WHAT'S IN THE BOX! The first option is the one that never goes away. Finn McCool's. Hot damn, a Finn's Philly is absolutely divine. I think the main ingredient is love. Seriously, it's that good. Seriously. I wrote 'Seriously' twice to emphasize my point on this one. I was going to write it again but that horse is dead to me. Second option. Eat at home. Alright, this option is totally lame and doesn't even have a fraction of the divinity factor that a New Britian McDonald's has. I'd rather eat the dead horse that I beat earlier. What's on the menu you say? Peanutbutter and bread with a side of tolerance. I mean, I could eat that. I've done it before and I'm relatively certain I could do it again. But do I want to eat that? No. Hell no. I'm sure that this decision seems like a nonentity to you, right blog? What's the big deal here? Why don't you just go to Finn's, fool? You have money. You have a car. You have all of the prerequisite necessities that would facilitate a righteous meal such as the one you intoned above. See, the thing is...I got to Finn's a lot. I eat Finn's Philly a lot. Its becoming a problem. I realize that its becoming a problem and I have to stop the insanity before it goes too far. God, I hope I didn't ruin myself. God? If you're there...please come down here and pat me on the shoulder and say, 'There, there." Tell me that in your infinite wisdom you have created the Finn's Philly to be eaten by mere mortals and that eating it is not analagous with Prometheus stealing fire from the gods (not you!) and then having his liver eaten by eagles every day only to be miraculously regenerated every night and then eaten again the next day! Please!!!! Tell me those words!

(silence)

no.

no!

Well, I'm off to make a sandwich. Crap.