Comb Forfeiture

I'm pretty pissed at 'forfeit'.  What can't you follow the i-before-e rule like all the other goddam words?  What makes you so special?  I totally screwed you up in an important e-mail and you made me feel like an idiot.  Something just looked off about 'forfiet' and I didn't realize it until too late.  Are there any other jerk words out there!?!  I bet there are.  I'm gonna hunt them down in their little rat holes and then make them all look stupid while I photograph them getting the lice picked out of their hair.  That whole thing must've been pretty embarrasing for Saddam.  I can just picture how it all went down too...there was Saddam, in his hole, just minding his own business and eating a box of Wheat Thins and then all of a sudden the trap door flies open.  He probably jumped and hit his head on the ceiling and said 'Allah dammit!' and then he's like scurrying around trying to find a comb and shit but the Americans probably think he's looking for a gun so they make him stop and then they pull him out and dust him off a little and then take pictures of him with their cameraphones.  He's all like, 'C'mon guys, just let me check myself in the rearview mirror of your Hummer or something' and they're like 'No way dude, you look totally fine, don't worry about it.' and he's like 'Yeah?  You sure?' and they're like, 'You bet.'  Then he sees it the next day in the paper and is all like, "Awwwww.....you guys!'