A Day at the Races

I think horse racing looks like a lot of fun.  I want to go to a racetrack and do all that fun-looking gambling stuff but I don't really like gambling.  I just want to go and carry around a folded up newspaper and have a handfull of those little gambling ticket things and just yell at the horses as they run around and then get all disgusted when they finish and tear up my little gambling tickets.  Of course, they won't be real gambling tickets, but nobody will know that.  I probably need one of those silly fedora hats too.  That would really make the experience complete.