Bedroom Cold-Front

Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo, who turned down the goddam thermostat last night!?!  For real!  Seriously, I already know who it was, but dag yo, it was fuckin' colder than a drunken cosmonaut lying facedown in a puddle of moon-puke on the darkside yo.  Damn!  I woke up at 3:00am from a wonderful dream where I met this girl at her dorm room and it was like a jungle gym all over the place and I had to climb up and over and swing on stuff and jump across things and there were pillow hammocks all over and fun things to play with but I couldn't stay because in reality I was freezing my ass off in bed where I should never be cold ever.  Yo.  At first I didn't realize why I woke up in the middle of the night.  I'm an excellent sleeper and I never wake up for anything...so there I was, awake and confused as to why I wasn't sleeping.  Then the cold hit me right in my runny nose.  So, I got up and went to the thermostat in the living room.  Sixty-six!  (66!)  Farenheit!  Zeitgeist!  What in the name of the Tennessee Valley Authority is the goddam thermostat doing at 66!  I mean, it wasn't all that bad in the living room because 66 isn't so bad...but in my room, where there is no thermostat...it was cold.  My room doesn't have a 'brain' like the living room.  It could drop to 10 below in my room and as long as it's 66 in the living room, it stays that way.  So I cranked that shit up to 72 and hoped that once the radiator kicked on, the sudden heat wouldn't clash with the arctic cold-front in my room and make little tornados or something all over the place.  Then I thought that if I wanted to make little tornados, I would need much more extreme temperatures, like if I left the oven on 500 and then opened it up at the same time I opened the freezer next to it.  That might make its own weather patterns, right?  Probably not.  Yo.