Lucid Dreaming

Man, I had a really bad dream last night. I was walking around Manhattan just minding my own business when I noticed that I kept seeing the same guy over and over again. Then I noticed that right before he would turn corners, he would secretly look over at me. Then I started doing subtle things to try and catch him, just to make sure, and sure enough, he was following me. Then I started running and he started running to follow me. That's when John C. Reilly showed up in a taxicab golf cart or something like that. I jumped on the side and said, "That guy is trying to catch me...Hey! Aren't you John C. Reilly?" and he just nodded and started making evasive maneuvers. We drove to a part of Manhattan that was like a really run-down old industrial part with this shell of a building that looked like it would fit right into post-WWII Dresden. There was a chainlink fence encircling it and like that yellowish grass that grows like a foot high all around it. Anyways, we ran into the building and up to the second floor. There was debris everywhere and like piles of crushed up concrete and crap like that. We looked out the window for a while and nobody came. I was almost relieved. Then it dawned on me that this was a dream. That's when I started to worry again. I knew that since I was dreaming and worried that someone was going to come around the corner then they definitely would. I thought to myself, 'Ryan, don't think that! It will only make it happen!'...then it happened. The bad guys came careening around the corner like those hordes of derelicts from a Mad Max movie. They were driving crazy tow-trucks and tractor trailer rigs all decked out in the latest post-apocalyptic fashion. Me and John C. Reilly tried to hide under a desk but there was no way we could both fit so when one of the bad guys came upstairs, we locked eyes immediately. He smiled this really crooked toothy smile and went back downstairs really fast to go tell his cohorts where I was. I told John C. Reilly that it was going to be okay because I was going to wake myself up and stop the dream right then and there. I decided the best way to do that was to jump out the window and commit dream-suicide. So, I ran towards the window and jumped out head first only to do an accidental slow-motion somersault and land right on my goddam feet! The dream wouldn't let me die! So I took off running again and I could hear the bad guy's girlfriend yell, 'There he goes!'. So I ran towards the fence and jumped like super-humanly high to get over it. That's when I realized that since I was dreaming, I could pretty much do whatever I thought about. So, I started hurdling fences by jumping up and like twisting my fingers somehow on the top of it and using my wrist strength to catapult myself over. I started going through barbed wire like it was a cobweb. Then I did the finger-twist-wrist-snap over a fence without looking where I was going and I landed in a huge friggin' pile of barbed wire. Of course. That's when I woke up and decided to watch some TV at 4:00 am.

Then I fell back asleep and had a dream where my brother and I had motorcycles and we were cruising around in the rain doing powerslides and crap. That was way more fun.