I Like Pears

I've been feeling kinda bloggy lately. Not sure why. It comes and it goes. It's like I fall into these little routines with how I spend my 'bored' time. Speaking of little routines, I've started eating pears a lot lately. Not the real ones, but the kind that come all chopped up in the can already. I would do the real ones, but I don't wanna take the 'ripe' challenge. Too early = Suck. Wait too long = Waste of money. I like the canned ones because they come in the pear syrup. Man, I would love to drink that shit but somewhere in the back of my mind there is a little voice that is telling me that the juice has got to be 'too good to be true'. Right? I mean, it's like super pear extract times ten. It probably tastes better than an angel's boobies but then you will have to crap out the anal equivalent of the Amazon. It's funny how crap is almost always brown...and uniform. How the hell does that happen? It's like no matter what you put in, you get the same thing. I wonder what would happen if you took a few cups of stomach juices and put a bunch of food in it. Like, in a bucket or a ziploc bag. Would that stuff eventually turn brown and smell like shit? Maybe you'd have to like, massage it or something like your inner muscles do. I don't want that job. I also don't want to donate my stomach juices either. I don't want to talk about this anymore, but I am in the mood for pears. I don't think that they make enough pear flavored things. I think pear is one of the most underrated flavors. Pear juice would be a huge hit, I think. Maybe it's really hard to get the pear flavor just right. I just sat here for a minute, staring at the wall, trying to think of pear flavored things. The only thing I could come up with was my ex's spray-on flavor, which is funny because I still haven't come up with anything that tastes like pears. Just something that sorta smelled like them. I wonder why pears got such a bad rap? I bet is has to do with shipping or something stupid like that. Like, the shape of the pear doesn't lend itself to packing really tight or something. God, I hate...produce producers? I'm going to go eat pears. Sliced up into bite size chunks and floating around in a can of pear nectar. I bet those stupid terrorists can't just go in the kitchen and get themselves a can of bite size pears in pear nectar. They're probably all like, "Hey, I'm gonna go take a break from all this blogging and go grab another goddam falafel. Allah dammit, I'm really starting to hate falafel. Death to America."