Mr. Popular
You know how when you're a kid and you want the most expensive shoes ever and your parents say 'no' and then you say that all the other kids at school are going to make fun of you and then your parents tell you that school is 'not a popularity contest'...where did they get that from? Are there really popularity contests out there? I wonder what kind of criteria they evaluate to determine your level of popularity. I don't think they actually exist. I've only heard about them through my parents comparing all of the popularity decreasing events in my life to them. I doubt that my parents ever put much thought into them either. I should've asked to participate in one...like after I finished with all my 'non-popularity contest' events.
"Next up, number 23, Cavutto. He will be attempting to get drafted in the first round of kickball. Obviously, points have already been deducted for not qualifying as a 'captain', but he can make up some of that deficit with a solid, base-clearing kick in the later innings. Also, keep an eye out for a new move that he's been working on in his bedroom for several nights now. Word on the playground is that he's been spending a lot of time kissing his forearm in preparation for the popularity contest 'coup de grace'. That's right, tonguing."
"Next up, number 23, Cavutto. He will be attempting to get drafted in the first round of kickball. Obviously, points have already been deducted for not qualifying as a 'captain', but he can make up some of that deficit with a solid, base-clearing kick in the later innings. Also, keep an eye out for a new move that he's been working on in his bedroom for several nights now. Word on the playground is that he's been spending a lot of time kissing his forearm in preparation for the popularity contest 'coup de grace'. That's right, tonguing."
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