Things That Are Stupid

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Here is a list of things that are stupid.

1. 'You can't have your cake and eat it too'.  Why?  This is the dumbest phrase I've ever heard.  First of all, cake is stupid.  I don't want to own it and I certainly don't want to eat it.  Second of all, the obvious.  What other purpose does cake have besides to be eaten?  I'll think about that one and get back to you.

2. The top row of numbers on my keyboard.  Why is zero all the way at the right side?  This makes no sense to me.  When I count, I hardly ever go ...6, 7, 8, 9, 0.  This is dumb and I want to know whose idea this was.  Same thing goes for the telephone.  Why is that the only number that's totally out of place?  And another thing!  Why do we only count zero when we're counting down?  I think that we should start counting up from zero too.  While we're at it, can we please switch the 12 on a clock with a zero?  Wait, hang on...I'm getting ahead of myself.  What I'm really trying to avoid here is having the second hour of the day be the 'ones'.  So I guess it only makes sense that...

3.  Clock numbers are all screwed up.  The first hour shouldn't be '12' and the second hour of the day certainly shouldn't be the 1's...but the more I think about it, the more this seems almost unavoidable.  Ok, the first hour should be the 1's, second should be 2's and so on...12 should be last (unless we could somehow switch to a base-10 decimal system...that would rock?  Who even uses base-12?  (I just looked it up - it's not base 12...it's more likely base-60 and taken from the mesopotamians.  Turns out, 60 is evenly divided by 12...and it also makes sense for the 60 minutes/60 second thing)  But whatever!  I hate it and it should change.  Decimals baby!  Decimals and metric!

4.  Standard American units of measure are ridiculous.  Everybody knows this.  There is absolutely no reason why we shouldn't be metric like the rest of the world.

5.  Coconut in candy.  This is just gross.  It doesn't even taste like coconut.  It tastes like paper...except paper will eventually break down in your mouth.  Coconut is completely resistant to chewing.  Don't put this in candy. 

6.  Eyelashes.  Do we really need these hairs so close to our eyeballs?  I think this is terrible product placement.  I don't think we need super thick hairs getting all caugh up in super sensitive areas like eyeballs.  Eyebrows?  Fantastic idea.  They stop things like sweat, theoretically.  If I excercised, I would be a huge fan of them.  What are eyelashes supposed to stop?  Certainly not things from poking out my eyes.  Dust?  I don't buy it.