My Weak Computer

My computer is running really slow today.  I think I worked it too hard...pushed it to the limit.  I did a lot of intensive computing this morning and now it's paying the price.  I can already tell that it's struggling just to get these letters up into the blog, so I'm going to keep it brief. 

What I need is a stronger computer. 

Something that can handle running a bunch of websites all at the same time and still have enough energy leftover for maybe a chat or something on the side.  Also, it should be made of metal instead of this flimsy plastic.  Aluminum maybe...to keep the weight down but still maintain its structural rigidity. Or steel.  Yeah, steel.  It has to be wireless too.  I don't wanna see any friggin' wires sticking out of it anywhere, so I can compute things on-the-go if I have to.  I'm a very important librarian and I need to compute stuff at, like, seminars and meetings and stuff.  Wi-fi and crap.  Cause I just know someone's gonna be all, 'Hey Cavutto, we need all this stuff computed right now for some giant client or else we're all toast!' and I'll be like, 'Well, I'm inside a pyramid right now, but no problem - beep boop boop boop beep - done!'