Ok Centaur, You're the Boss

So last night I was on my deck with a telescope, charting the position of the stars for work.  It was pretty boring and tedious and I kept thinking that I could probably just fake it by putting a bunch of dots on the page real quick and then go play video games, but I decided that was a bad idea since this was a major project and I would probably get fired if someone found out I faked it.  Then I started hearing these horse-hoof steps coming across the parking lot.  I don't live in an area with horses, so this was very out of the ordinary.  Across the parking lot, I saw this guy slowly riding a horse up to my apartment, but as he got closer and into the light, I saw that it was actually a centaur.  For those of you not familiar with centaurs, they are half man, half horse, half scariest-thing-you-never-want-to-see-in-your-life.  Dude was totally jacked and probably weighed half a ton.  I wanted to run in the house, but I thought he would hear the slider door open and slam shut, so I tried to hide behind my deck railing because it was so dark.  I got down real low and tried not to move, both myself and my bowels.  Fuckin' centaur guy walks right up to my building - so close that I could smell him.  He then looks right at me and I screamed like a little girl.  I think I scared him because he did that thing horses do when they get up onto their hind legs and pretend to run with their front ones.  Then he tells me to jump off the deck and onto his back and I was all like, "No fuckin' way I'm jumping" and I just kinda stood there shaking my head.  He got real mad, but wasn't yelling or anything - he just stared at me like, "Dude.  Get on.  Now." and I was like, "Alright centaur, you're the boss."  So I jumped onto him and he took off.  For a second, I was worried that somebody would see me and think that it was the gayest thing in the world.  I mean, I was clutching onto this half-naked dude, who was also half a horse, and prancing across the parking lot in the middle of the night.  I did not want to be 'that guy'.  Anyways, the centaur heads straight for the woods and onto this trail and starts going really fast.  We were going full speed through the woods and over fallen trees and up little hills and it was insane.  Then the woods opened up to a beach and I jumped off and the centaur just fuckin' booked down the beach and into the distance.  Then I walked down the beach for a while and came across what I think was the old 96.5 WTIC FM pavillion and there was a crazy party going on.  I met some super hot girl and went down the waterslide a bunch of times.  The end.