Hey, check this out!  It's an online anagram maker.  Do your name!  See!  Fun!  Do it!

My real name gets these results - 'Nearby Barr', 'A Bran Berry', 'Abner Barry' (Pen name?)

Cavutto gets - 'Catv out'  WTF?  Nothing...

http://wordsmith.org/anagram/

Holy crap, this weekend sucked the life out of me...and not from the place where it is fun to get the life sucked out of you.    Friday and Saturday were 10 hour days so Sunday felt like a vacation working only 6 hours.  We didn't even unpack yet.  I don't even know why I didn't just burn half of my crap instead of taking it.  Stupid garbage from college that I nobody in their right mind would want.  The sorta good part about that is that when I opened up all the boxes to take a peek, it made my new bedrooms smell like my old dorm room (which is nice...I miss my old dorm room).  Anyways, I'm pretty darn glad to be back at work because I don't sweat as much here, I can sit down and its air conditioned.  Well, the new place has an AC, but we were in and out so much that we never used it. 

So, yeah.  New place is really nice.  My room is mostly bed (king!) and I'm picking up this really cool hutch/book case from an antique furniture store in the center of town this week. 

I got the sickest vacuum cleaner ever!  Got it at the earlybird sale at Kohls.  I love it.  It's red, bagless and it makes these cool little cyclones in the collection bin thing.  It's frickin' awesome.  I'm gonna get a chip for it and maybe some new headers.  I need to get some slicks for it too so it will hook up better in the kitchen. 

What is the deal with the tripartite plastic plate anyways?  It feels like my plate is subconsciously encouraging me to eat three different things.  What if I don't like three of the offerings?  If I only populate two of the three segments, I'm I breaking some unwritten rule?  What the plate is also trying to tell me is that I should be eating a lot of one thing and a little less of two other things.  I don't think that my portion sizes relative to each other should be dictated by the wonderful people at Solo.  And why would plate makers would go through the hassel of making the tripartite plastic plate in the first place?  Seems like a regular flat plate would be much easier to make from a manufacturing standpoint.  I think the partitions are also very restricting because they pretty much guarantee that my three distinct food items will not interact with each other.  It's mandatory culinary segregation!  And what if I wanted four items?  Then two of them would have to touch.  I'm sorta playing the Devil's advocate here, because I really can't stand when different foods touch each other, but what if I did!?!  Now that I think about it, perhaps the reason why I don't like my foods touching each other is because they always give little kids partitioned plates!  Did you ever think of that, Mom and Dad!  I hate you!

Astronomy is lame and I'm sick and tired of it, so guess what.  I started a whole new blog page thing for it. 

http://www.blogs4me.com/Astronomer/

More crap for me to do everyday.  I fuckin' hate this place.  I don't even want to be here right now. 

So, what else is new...ummmm, nothing.  There is nothing new.  It's all just rearranged pre-existent material.  That's all anything can ever be. 

God, this post is as boring as fuckin' astronomy. 

So today I seen that science nerds in India tried shooting off a rocket and it went all sideways then exploded all over the place.  When questioned, the lead rocketeer said, "I don't know what the fuck happened with that fuckin' piece of shit rocket.  To find out what happened we gotta analyze some data shit.  I dunno, shit was going straight then it wasn't going fuckin' straight.  It went all ass sideways or whatever then something got seriously all fucked up and then that shit exploded and shit.  Fuck this rocket shit!"

~tOdd 

Look here blog.  I don't like you and you don't like me.  It's no use pretending anymore.  I think the least we can do is be adults here.  Let me upload some astronomy pictures and I promise that I will do something nice for you.  Maybe a thoughtful post?  Would you like that?  How about a fancy cursive font?  Classy.  I just don't know what else I can do to make this work.  All I want is to upload a goddam picture.  Now you are making me lose my temper and this is not going to be pretty.  I think you want that, don't you.  You just want a knock-down, drag-out, claws-out, broken-toothed, jugular-ripping ,skull-cracking ,vice-grip-using-on-sensitive-areas fight.  Well, I'm above that, blog.  Actually, I'm probably not above the vice-grip part, because that sounds wicked diabolical...I'm pretty much above the rest of that stuff though. 

I can't figure out what is wrong with the 'insert picture' function thing.  Everybody else seems to be able to get picture up but me.  I can barely see the screen from crying so hard.  So, the APoD's are just gonna have to wait until I pick up a computer book and learn how to make things work correctly.

Anyways, to those of you who know me this should come as no big surprise.  I'm a bona fide retard.  I lack all of the necessary skills to properly operate.  Not just a few.  All.  If I was a car, I would be a little, tiny retarded car and I would have the navigational capabilities of a Roomba.  Actually, that's probably a little too lenient.  Roomba's know better than to fall down the stairs. 

Well, technically I haven't fallen down the stairs or anything...lately. 

Sometimes I amaze myself with how well I have mastered idiocy.  If you have anything good that you need fucked up, I'll help you find the most ingenious and counter-intuitive way to go about it.  Stuff you probably didn't even imagine could be done.  Then, before you're even done trying to imagine it, I'll have it fucked up nicely for you and probably need a ride to the hospital for myself. 

My camera died yesterday at my friend's wedding.  Coolpix 2500 was like a brother to me.  And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it.  Which is more meaningful I think.  So, yesterday it started making this funny clicking sound and wouldn't focus anymore.  It sounded like whatever gears are involved with the focus mechanism are stripped or otherwise broken.  In a way, I'm really happy that it finally broke because it was sorta crappy.  I think it was like 2 megapixels or whatever.  It also had a few dead pixels that would make purple dots on stuff in low light.  Anyways, now I must get a new camera and I'm super excited about that.  Something smaller I think. 

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/image/0607/husbandhillpan_spirit.jpg

Alright, whatever.  My quantum computer sucks and I can't get a frickin' picture to come up anymore.  This quandry has seriously hampered my efforts to provide the world with their beloved APoDs.  So, anyways, if you click on the link above, you will see a photograph of the Martian landscape.  As always, it's fucking boring.  Alright, let's see...there's some dirt, a few rocks and a mound of crap in the distance.  It probably cost a brazillian dollars to get this photograph and everybody is now scurrying to try and find a way to study it.  That's the problem with NASA.  They spend all this money on stuff like this and then they have to try to look busy by coming up with useless ways of studying it.  But you know what?  Who gives a crap.  Seriously.  We got some red dirt in my backyard.  Lots of it.  Maybe I'll go out and measure it and draw up some pretty graphs.  That way I might feel a little better about paying my absurd mortgage.  Go fuck yourself NASA. 

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/image/0607/Tricrescent_goldman_c50.jpg

Ummm...yeah.  So, today's APoD isn't working.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with this website or anything.  Most likely the error occurred when I was making some minor adjustments on my new quantum laptop.  Such a pain to terminate those algorithms because the 8-dimensional complex vector that I store in the register must read off from the qubit register by a quantum measurement.  Pain in my ass.  Anyways, today's picture is of some outer space flubber or something.  It's totally cool and really squishy. 

Today's APoD is of a unique cluster of stars located in the upper left quadrant of this picture.  This cluster is particularly uncommon because they are the only objects observed to spangle in outer space.  One time I spangled this intern behind my particle accelerator, but never in outer space.  I would imagine that spangling in zero gravity would be pretty amazing and I'm sure more than a few people have gotten astronaughty in the new space station.  Maybe with that new space-arm contraption, we will finally get to see some extra-vehicular spangling activity.  I'll have to focus my giant telescope on it and get one giant peep for mankind. 

It has been postulated that when the moon hits your eye like a big-ah pizza pie, it is considered 'amore'. The postulator of this claim was most likely referring to Jupiter's moon, Io, since it is the only moon we have discovered thus far to have characteristics similar to that of a big-ah pizza pie.  This claim can be easily refuted for several reasons.  The primary reason I believe it to be false is due to the unreliability of the claimant.  It is a well documented fact that he was a drunkard.  Secondly, Io is by all accounts one of the most hideous manisfestations of matter in the universe and thus is unlikely to fit the any definition of the word 'amore'. 

So last night at Finn's I was informed of a current development in Newington gossip.  This is truly something that makes me think twice about relationships.  It may have even made me think thrice about it. 

Anyways, this story is about two people whom I went to high school with.  The girl (we'll call her Isabella) had been dating this guy (we'll call him Ferdinand) for about five years now and they have been engaged for the last two I think.  Their marriage was set for this summer and by all accounts they were a happy couple. 

Last weekend was Isabella's wedding shower.  At the shower, she revealed a horrible secret that she had been keeping for a while.  She was cheating on Ferdinand with a guy she worked with.  Yeah, I know...bad, right?

That's not the worst part.

Turns out, she let everyone know that she had intended on marrying Ferdinand and having kids with him.  Her rationale was that he was a tall, blonde haired, blue eyed athlete just like her.  Actually, they are both sorta super-athletes.  So, basically, she wanted to breed with him and then divorce him to be with the guy from work. 

WTF?!?  Seriously, this is probably one of the worst things I've heard in a long time. 

Alright, I'm kinda running a little late today and I don't have a whole lot of time to devote to your daily astronomy lesson.  So, anyways, today's picture is of the moon.  The moon orbits the earth pretty often.  If you ever get a chance to go to the moon, you should smell it.  It smells like sulphur.  Some people think that they see a man's face in the moon, but they're idiots.  The Chinese think they see a rabbit.  Idiots.  There was some movie with this kid who had a really messed up face and his head was like huge and he had a blind friend who felt his face or something maybe.  I could see that kid's face in the moon probably.  Anybody who can correctly identify the deformed kid I'm talking about gets to pick tomorrow's subject matter. 

This picture is indicative of one of the few universally recognized truths in astronomy.  Don't hire hippy astronomers.  Sure, it might sound like a great idea at first, but hippy astronomers are notorious for photoshopping silly colors onto everything and only finishing half their work.  This picture was probably a very useful research diagram until some goddam hippy astronomer got ahold of it and made it 'far out'.  Listen up, hippy astronomer!  This planet was far enough out! 

Today's image comes to us from an amateur astronomer in Europe.  It is a little blurry because those hairy Europeans use the metric system and they wind up with the same calibration problems that NASA does.  I've taught several seminars at the Dutch observatory where this was taken and each time I fix their 'scopes only to find their pictures looking like this a week later.  I swear to god, the next time I go over there I am going to snap every one of their metric rulers and replace them all with proper standard unit ones.  Not like it will matter anyways.  Eurpoeans suck at astronomy.  Leave the science to us and stick to what you do best.  Tiny cars and inbreeding.