Who names their goddam band 'Loverboy'?  That is just wrong.  And why is it that whenever I put a quarter into the jukebox and play "Jukebox Hero" everybody turns at looks at me in a most unheroic way?  Sometimes I listen to the radio here at work and every 10 or 15 minutes something will come on that is totally embarrassing and I hope that nobody walks by before I can change it.  I just want to hear Stevie Ray Vaughn all day long because if anyone has a problem with that they can take it up with HR.  I could never work for the HR department.  I squander all of my resources and I'm not all that good at dealing with humans.  It smells like a wet rug up here today.  I saw a cool show on the symbolism of the dollar bill last night.  It was one of those shows that the history channel stretched into a full hour but they probably could've done it in half.  I love it when they do that though.  Always information overload...like when they do a Modern Marvels episode on something like the brick.  Somehow they make the brick seem like the most interesting thing in the world and it will captivate me for an hour.  A brick.  I love it. 

"...the brick is one of the oldest, yet least celebrated, building materials manufactured by man....We'll feature advancements through the ages as well as construction techniques, trends, and the future of brick construction."

Clear!  <shtump>  Clear!  <shtump>

Cavutto, a blog. A blog barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic blog. Cavutto will be that blog. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, faster.

Really though?  I got nothin'.  Nothing at all.  Ummmm...I made a few crappy boats this weekend out of bark, twigs and leaves and then I sent them down a stream and over some minature rapids.  They handled the rapid parts pretty well until the final drop off.  Then it totally like definitely couldn't take the pressure.  I didn't account for the water!  (bad star Trek quote...hold it against me.  Hold it really tightly against me.)

Here's the launch.

And the first sail boat sailing...

Here's the barge I made to transport supplies to the first lost vessel in hopes of salvaging it.  The barge totally definitely broke apart before it reached its intended destination.  There were no survivors.  A candlelight vigil is probably in order. 

That's it.  Yay.

E-f-f-e-c-t, I'm a smooth operator operating correctly.

Holy crap, I'm finally caught up at work!  Wow.  I can see my desk and everything.  Spectacular.

Check this little number out.  The Naughty Librarian Halloween costume on sale at Target.  I'm really glad she doesn't have her hair in a bun and a couple tissues up her sleeve...

I'm goin' all-out Blogs4me today. 

I tried avocado today.  It looked like it could be pretty tasty, but I should've known better.  Green slime, although appealing to the eyes, is a little different in your mouth. 

Avocado -

Tomorrow's culinary adventure - the olive. 

Alright, what the hell is going on here.  Now, I'm not usually the one to wax politisophical (don't wanna step on Joe's toes), but seriously, there is something fishy going on here.  I filled up my car yesterday with 10 gallons and it came to $25.00.  At first I thought something was wrong because I knew I was on 'E' and it normally goes over $30.  Then I noticed that gas prices are ridiculously low.  (I haven't filled up in like 2 weeks).  Okay, that can be rationalized, right?  I mean, it's not like there is a production halt going on in Alaska (BP) and all of our Gulf rigs are back online (not).  Maybe Venezuala is hooking us up on the cheap.  Yeah, that must be it.  Alright, whatever.  Gas is cheaper...good.  Then, as if that wasn't blissful enough, the stock market has hit an all-time high!  Yay!  It must be a direct result of all that good news we've been getting from corporate America (Hi HP!). 

In summation....Yay government!  Everything is good!  Thank goodness the elections are coming up so I can show my support for the magical goodness of the GOP!  Yay! 

<pckewww>

It comes down to reality - and it's fine with me cause I've let it slide,
Don't care if it's chinatown or riverside,
I don't have any reasons, I've left them all behind
I'm in a New York state of mind.

Jeter is unbelievable.  I'm at a complete loss for words. 

Another crazy dream with another scary ending.  This time I was hanging out in NYC with Jay Bones and Kirsten and all of a sudden Jerry Orbach (R.I.P.) from Law and Order comes over to me and he's all drunk and stumbling.  Apparently, he wanted me to hail a cab and take him to his apartment which was on the corner of 5th and 0, which I know is an impossible coordinate now, but in the dream I found it on a map and was totally cool with it.  Then, as I'm trying to hail a cab he demands to go to the movies after I drop him off.  This didn't sit too well with me because I was with my buddies and I didn't want to cart a drunken Jerry Orbach around the city all day.  Anyways, that never happened because a cab never came around.  Since there were no cabs on the main thoroughfare, drunken Jerry decides to go down this alley to look for one.  Naturally, I followed.  Then this black street thug dude comes out and all of a sudden I'm drunk and stumbling around!  I didn't even drink!  So anyways, now I'm stumbling and can't walk and I'm like the perfect target because I can't get away and stuff.  I finally shut one eye and sorta try to hop away.  Didn't work.  I was trying to stable myself on a chain-link fence but eventually I had to just slump down and try to keep him from taking my jacket.  Then, someone opens the door on the apartment bordering the alley and it's my buddy Silberman's mom!  Thank the lord!  I slurred a pathetic 'Help!' and she goes to get the phone but first she's fumbling with the lock on the door trying to lock it but she can't.  Meanwhile, fuckin' Orbach is nowhere to be found.  Then I woke up. 

It's Rosh Hashana so I decided to celebrate like any other working gentile this morning with a bagel from Dunkin' Donuts.  The one on Central Row was packed, per usual at this time in the morning, and I get up to the front of the line and ask for a blueberry bagel with cream cheese.  Then, as I started to walk over to the 'waiting place' (or whatever you call it), the lady goes 'Hey sir!' and I look over and she is holding out a bag for me.  I take it.  Inside was a stupid plain untoasted bagel sans cream cheese.  I didn't say anything because I knew they were busy as hell, but dammit, I don't want this. 

And now for a little Jewish song to help celebrate this crappy bagel.

I think I want to start a soap-box derby.  Soap scum pisses me off because soap is supposed to clean stuff, not make it crappy.  I don't know why I bother washing my washcloth in the washing machine either because everyday I rub it all over with soap and that should be sufficient to clean it.  Unfortunately, it's not.  That's stupid and I blame God.  God makes the best scapegoat and I really like how he takes requests for damning things.  I wonder what happens when something gets 'damned'.  Sometimes people say 'dammit all', but I don't think they really mean it.  God probably doesn't take those requests seriously. 

Good morning...time to get up and go to work! 

I ride on the bus into the city everyday
I sit on my seat and I dream myself away
I dream I'm on an island with that foxy lady too
But when I awaken I must be mistaken I'm on third avenue
Won't you take me away and take away me
Won't you take me away and take away me

Get off the bus!

Here's a picture I took out my office window this morning.  You can sorta see Adrian's Landing on the bottom right next to the bridge going over the CT River.  That building poking through the clouds is on the opposite shore. 

My tongue is sorta numb this morning.  I recently switched toothpastes and I'm relatively certain this is the reason.  It's some kind of new Crest Pro-Health or something like that.  I hadn't seen it before so I read up on the back of it in the store.  What really sold me on it was the active ingredient (flouride?) was double that in all the other ones.  It was pretty expensive too (like $8 I think).  It definitely makes my teeth feel clean and such, but I don't think my tongue is used to it yet.  I'm sure after this first cup of coffee, things will be back to normal.  I thought of something last night that I really wanted to blog about, but it escapes me at the present.  More likely than not, it was either dinosaurs or energy. 

This is the cal.

Alright Timbo, what's the deal here?  Did you work out some kind of contract to become the official blog site of Spanish 101?  I mean, I know last week we were kinda down on the lack of activity here, but this isn't what I had in mind.  Is it wrong that for some strange reason I want to go and read all their posts?  It feels like its been months since I missed a post/comment etc. 

So I finished up what I had been reading yesterday and I had nothing of interest in queue, so I rummaged through the big box of old books in my closet to find something for the bus ride this morning.  It wasn't until I actually walked up to the bus that I realized I had probably made an imprudent choice.  In my hand was a flourescent orange novel with big white letters that read, 'A Clockwork Orange'.  Yep.  I'm sure my fellow commuters had not previously viewed me as the ultra-violent type, but there it was.  Screaming 'Look at me!  You can't help it!  I'm flourescent orange!'.  However, by the time I got off the bus, I didn't really care.  I fancied getting my rookers on the first poor veck who viddied my book and tolchock his stinking rot, knocking his zoobies straight down his gullet.  Hopefully I'll get something a little tamer before Monday.  Any suggestions?

Woot!  Yankees are going to the playoffs!  9th straight division title!  Holy crap! 

What a change from when I was growing up.  From the year I was born (1980) until 1994 they Yankees sucked major ass and never made it to October.  Well, technically, 1994 was a strike year, so they didn't even really play in the post-season (although they were leading the division as of the strike).  Since Joe Torre signed on in 1996, there hasn't been a single season when they didn't make playoffs. 

Go Yankees! 

I just ordered a dictionary.  I was sorta surprised to see that people actually submitted reviews for it on Barnes & Noble.  I half expected them to say stuff like, "Yep, all the words are there", or "I lost interest half-way through".  This was by far the best out of all of them:

I am just a ten year old with a normal life, and I LOVE to read but nobody really notices. But when the spelling bee time comes I really shine out. I study real hard and practically almost missed my summer break (I at least got to go to Stone Mountain and Six Flags). I was only in the fourth grade when I was runner-up for my school speling bee. I was against a fifth grader so don't go so hard on me. It might seem dumb to you about this spelling bee junk, but it's real important to me so this book helps cause it's the book/dictionary they use in the Scripts Howard Spelling Bee.

This kid is the only one who didn't give the dictionary five stars.  Only four from him.  Guess it didn't fully meet his expectations.

Here are some exerpts from other notable reviews:

"...the dictionary works great."

"This really is the greatest dictionary I ever bought."

"The very good rating is based upon the accuracy and breadth of the definitions I have encountered."

I'm pretty pissed at 'forfeit'.  What can't you follow the i-before-e rule like all the other goddam words?  What makes you so special?  I totally screwed you up in an important e-mail and you made me feel like an idiot.  Something just looked off about 'forfiet' and I didn't realize it until too late.  Are there any other jerk words out there!?!  I bet there are.  I'm gonna hunt them down in their little rat holes and then make them all look stupid while I photograph them getting the lice picked out of their hair.  That whole thing must've been pretty embarrasing for Saddam.  I can just picture how it all went down too...there was Saddam, in his hole, just minding his own business and eating a box of Wheat Thins and then all of a sudden the trap door flies open.  He probably jumped and hit his head on the ceiling and said 'Allah dammit!' and then he's like scurrying around trying to find a comb and shit but the Americans probably think he's looking for a gun so they make him stop and then they pull him out and dust him off a little and then take pictures of him with their cameraphones.  He's all like, 'C'mon guys, just let me check myself in the rearview mirror of your Hummer or something' and they're like 'No way dude, you look totally fine, don't worry about it.' and he's like 'Yeah?  You sure?' and they're like, 'You bet.'  Then he sees it the next day in the paper and is all like, "Awwwww.....you guys!'